Communication
by fangirlinghard99
Summary: "Three simple words she'd never thought she would see herself saying, let alone typing."


**Communication  
**

Disclaimer: No, I don't own SVU, or any of the characters you see here. I mean, I have like $7 in my wallet.. does anyone know if Dick Wolf will go for that?

(With special thanks for LawAndBensler for her help) 

* * *

Generally when you lose a child or someone close to you, your first instinct is to lie in bed and cry, let those feelings run freely in the safety of your bed, with the warm covers draped dramatically over your body.

Olivia Benson, on the other hand, had a different way of coping the loss of her son Noah. Miss Jackson had brought it upon herself to deem Olivia an unfit mother after leaving Noah in the hospital in the care of Lucy and Mrs. Amaro. She took him as soon as he was discharged, and no one could stop her.

As she sit on the couch with two open wine bottles and Noah's case file on the coffee table in front of her, she picks up her cell phone and sends a text to the only person she truly wants, no, _needs _to speak to right now. She knows it's a long shot in one way or another but it doesn't hurt to try, right?

_**I need you. **_Three simple words she'd never thought she would see herself saying, let alone typing.

She clicks send, thinking there was a fifty-fifty chance on what could happen. _He_ could either ignore her like he has been for the past three years, or he could actually read it, and God forbid, respond to her. Olivia was hoping it would be the second option...maybe she could even call it a miracle.

She picks up her half-full glass of red wine and takes a long sip, feeling the lukewarm alcohol run down her dry throat. She can't bring herself to cry yet, it has not fully sunken in. Staring at Noah's picture in the open case file makes her realizes how hard she will have to work, regardless of whether her squad will help her, to get Noah back into the safety of his _own_ home.

She had called Trevor Langan earlier and told him what had happened. He promised that he would call Miss Jackson and Judge Linden in the morning and find out what he could. Now looking at the time that was brightly displayed on the TV's cable box, Olivia leaves the papers scattered on the table and after finishing the last drops of her fourth glass of wine, she puts the two bottles on the kitchen counter and ventured into her bedroom to change from her work clothes. As she exits the bathroom, she hears her phone vibrate on her nightstand and her stomach instantly drops thinking it could be him, thinking he might actually respond to her for once. She scrambles to reach for the phone.

It wasn't _him. _It was Fin, checking up on her, making sure she was okay, letting her know he's there if she needs anything. She replies with her signature phrase, _**I'm fine **_and puts her phone back on the nightstand, pulling down the covers of her bed to slip into the cool sheets. Hours and hours pass, tossing, turning, struggling to sleep but consumed with thoughts of Noah in yet _another_ foster home. She concedes to just staring at the ceiling the whole night replaying memory after memory of fun and smiling moments she had with Noah during the few months she had him. 

* * *

The next morning she wakes up to the sound of her alarm, momentarily forgetting that Noah wasn't in the other room waiting for her to come rescue him from her crib. She sinks into the bed and pulls the covers over her head as the memories of yesterday's events wash over her. She finally gets the courage to drag herself out of bed, get dressed and put water on the stove to make tea. While she was waiting, her mind wandered to _him_. Maybe he just didn't have his phone last night and didn't see that she texted him. But then her mind drifted to the place it didn't want to go. He got the text, and is _still_ ignoring her.

Once her tea is in a to-go cup, she makes sure to lock up, grabbed her keys and bag and make her to work. Once again, thinking about Noah. Is he okay? Were his current foster parents treating him well? Did he miss her? Once at a stop light, her thoughts were interrupted once again by the ringing of her cell phone, Trevor Langan's name popping up on the screen.

"Benson," Olivia answered with a slight quiver in her voice. She knew Trevor had to be calling about Noah, but she didn't know whether to expect good news or bad.

"Olivia, can you meet me in my office in about 20 minutes? It's _very _good news, I promise." Trevor emphasized the word 'very', knowing full well Olivia was going to kick herself the whole drive there.

"Yeah, I'll be there." Once Olivia ended the call, checking her messages just in case she just happened to miss _his_ text back, but nothing, she headed to Trevor's office, hoping and praying that maybe she'll get _her _son back today. 

* * *

When Olivia walked into Trevor's office five minutes late, she was looking down at her phone texting Fin back about a break in their current case. She didn't notice that not _only_ Trevor was in his office. When she looked up she was speechless. For once, Olivia Benson was speechless.

"Trevor, what was….Oh, Noah" She manages to choke out in a whisper. Trevor glances at Olivia with a small easy smile and then back to Noah, perched on his desk, pointing to Olivia with a bigger smile.

"Look Noah, look who it is." Trevor watches as tears sprung in Olivia's eyes, threatening to fall. Trevor saw that she was still in too much shock to move so he picks up Noah, walking around his desk to where she is standing.

"Noah, baby come here" Olivia whispered, her arms automatically coming out to take Noah from Trevor as a tear finally slips down her cheek. Noah started babbling in Olivia's ear as her watery eyes peek up to Trevor, once again, speechless.

"I called Judge Linden first thing this morning. She called Miss Jackson and asked for valid reasons for taking Noah. Judge Linden saw right through her _reasons_. I picked him up as soon as I could." Trevor finished, he could see Olivia was on the verge of shedding a tear again as she played with Noah's tiny chubby fingers.

"Trevor." Olivia noticeably sniffed. "Thank you." She said sincerely as she shifted Noah to one hip and gently squeezed Trevor's shoulder.

"He shouldn't have been taken from his mother in the first place. You're welcome." Trevor smiled.

"Well, thank you again, but I think I'm going to call Fin and let everyone know that I won't be in today." Olivia said as she shifted Noah onto her other hip to grab her phone, waving to Trevor as she exited his office. 

* * *

That night, the wine bottles had been exchanged for toys. And in the place of Noah's file, was Noah, giggling as he played with the ears of a stuffed NYPD teddy bear from Uncle Nick. She watched as he looked around the room, his eyes finally landing on her smiling face. He squealed and threw the bear on the floor and managed to crawl his way over to her.

"Hi, Noah!" She smiled enthusiastically at him as he snuggled into her chest. She held him for a good fifteen minutes until she heard his breathing even out and she knew he was asleep. She carefully stood up and carried him to his crib. After she laid him down and she bent down and pressed soft kiss to his forehead.

"Goodnight Noah, _mommy _loves you." she softly whispered while brushing a small piece of hair away from his eyes.

As soon as she shut the door to the bedroom, she checked her phone to see if that _miracle_ just happened to come. It didn't. She didn't know why she always got her hopes it. He was gone. She had to let him go for good. She made her way into the bathroom to brush her teeth and change into her pajamas and robe and then slowly walked backed out to the living room to look over a couple files she had brought home. Right as she was about to sit down, there was a soft, gentle knock on the door. When she got to the door she looked through the peephole to see who it was and her breath caught in her throat. She twisted the knob and opened the door.

"You came." She whispered tears brimming in her eyes.

_He _came. Elliot Stabler finally came, after three fucking years. _He _came.


End file.
